Janya

Or should I say wake up sleey head?
Thats what I feel like! I had such a hard time to crawl out of bed today, but since I'm doing a home exam I didn't have much choice.

Anyhow, I got some of the pictures from last weeks shoot. Maybe a little bit dorkey, but I hade a really good time!!!

So, back from Stockholm!
I was on my way to the train when the phone rings. Martin calls and says he just got of work - so I change direction and head to the old quarters of our beautiful capital. We sit down at this cute café and drink hot chocolate with whipped cream, and have a deep conversation about the important thing in life, such as boys, girls and, of course, Theatre!!!!

It is amazing how wonderful it feels to walk thorugh the narrow streets, lit by soft streetlights, and a faint smell of winter whispering by....

My heart has recently calmed down. Beating like I've been running for an hour, it hitting my ribs as I'm crawled up in the chair. "Burn it down". The photography is flashing for my inner eye, and I'm eating it. Every single frame is burned into my brain, every sound, motin.

Never in my life have I been so affected in a movie theatre. Maybe a theatre, but never cinema. And it broadens my perspective. Triggers my passion. Quentin Tarantino - you just took yoursel to a whole new level. And I'm at home now, still amazed. I probaly won't use the lense. Nor the music in the same way. But I'll use the ligt, the fantasy, and the magic - I'll use my wand until I become as great. And my work will affect somebody the same way I was ignited, an explosion that won't be

Hm, just realized that my latest writings have been pretty short. Nothing wrong with that, just an observation I made.

Anyhow.

My sister is trying to engage me in a photoshoot tomorrow. And although I don't fancy the idea of going all the way to storvreta (which really isn't that far away) for just a couple of hours it does sound enticing. So I think I will. If I do you'll be able to se part of the result in a couple of days!

I haven't seen her, and spent time with her, in a while. Even more time has passed since I hung out with my brother. It's a shame :(

Tomorrow night I'll celebrate Anna-Maria's birthday! She'll get some sticky cake and maybe even a little something ;)

Still thinking about this musical, though. It will be fun :)

So I got a very interesting phonecall today. An offer to direct a musical that would have an audience of about 5000 ppl. Quite a lot. And quite a challange.

I'm excited now.

So I got a very interesting phonecall today. An offer to direct a musical that would have an audience of about 5000 ppl. Quite a lot. ANd quite a challange.

I'm excited now.

I had this dream last night...

I woke up, feeling uneasy and disturbed. Just couldn't shake it off.
I feel alone. I know I'm surrounded by loving, caring people. But that's all outside - my soul... It needs you. I need you.

and I LOVE to feel "duktig"! Like... well organized, productive... hm, any suggestions for a better translation?
Anyway, I woke up at work, wet home at 7 am, breakfast (with my wonderful, lovely roomie! *love you so much*) and then off to my other job. After one class I went to the gym, workef out (yeah, it's true - I don't just go the gym to hang out, I actually do stuff when I'm there!) and then home again for lunch.

After lunch, back to work and had another class . it was awesome! I spent the whole hour directing a scene infront of the (few) students that were there, but I feel like we developed the scene quite a bit. It is just SO wonderful working with a scene that really is coming along! After that a friend picked me up, we went to get som tea (or coffe) and then home, getting ready to go back to my first job and now I'm here! :D

Yesterday my dear friend Nicole sent me a link to a music video she acted in a while ago... It's really touching, check it out!

Nothing picks me up like getting to know new, nice people. I seems like this is a really good semester in terms of that. Or maybe I've just made myself available to meet them!

This month has been a lot of work. But work means money, and money is always nice! Besides, i like both my jobs, and I guess thats more than many people can say!

Wow, this day sure rushed by!
I'm currently at work, bedtime soon. I've been moving from A to B teh whole day, and I still feel alive! That's the benefit of actually going to bed before 11 pm...

Even though there are so many "musts" going on, I feel pretty good. Started this new course, entrepreneurship, and its a lot of fun! And even if this weekend sure gave me some unpleasent surprises, the shock has somewhat settled and I'm focusing on getting things done. After all, I have wonderful friends, a job that i LOVE (and a sister that I can share my bitching with, if I by any chance wouldn't be in great humor at work) and after all - fall is falling, and with it comes candles and pillows and long long movies :)

Life from the bright side...

It should be against the law to blog when its 3 am and your far from stable. Still, writing helps releasing the pressure, the tension, and becomes like a sort of free therapy. Especially since you don't know if anyone is actually reading this; you might as well be writing just for yourself.

I ran in to a very special person tonight. And it might have hurt us both. Either way, it didn't have a good outcome, and now I feel so blue. It would be ok as long as I knew that you were doing good, but I don't. Who knew it would be this hard?

I want you to know how much you mean to me, but I can't find the words to describe ot....

Just one sentence, a picture... a "congratulation" or a comment said without harm, and it makes me want to hit the person who just said it. Stupid people, don't take for granted that I'm happy. You wouldn't have been, either.

Enough with the bitterness. Except a thing or two (maybe three) everything is fantastic. Work - great. School - interesting. Friends - the best.

What right do I have to complain? Its just that I can't shake of the fury...

Finally, my roomie came home!
Feels like she's been gone forever! On the other hand, I haven't been home so much either, so I guess it was a good week to be gone!

Tomorrow its work work work the first half of the day, then meeting up with maria for a little bit and then more work!
Finally me and Anna-Maria are going to have the Oficial Meeting - planning for the future of Teater Aros! Yeye!

Vill så gärna skicka ett mess och berätta hur fin du är. Att jag tänker på dig och saknar dig. Men vi är starka, vi kan gå vidare. Så jag låter bli. Men vet att jag är så tacksam för hur snäll du är, att du finns med på ett hörn ändå. Sov så gott...

... so I found this artist, which is completly new to me: Lily Allen. And she is great! Just the name of her album; it's not me, it's you! Love it! Exactly my type of chill-out music!
What else is new? Not much, I'm working now and tomorrow I have a killer day that starts at 8 am and ends at 8 pm, with a LOT of transprtation in between... but i'll be fine, I always am!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Qa28ZrHPcc&feature=fvst

I woke this morning and everything just felt like... well, bad. Isabel was in town, so she forced me to come out which was a good thing. After a good meal and some sun (imagine!) it felt better. I came home, cleaned, did some laundry and well, it helped too. A friend and colleague came over, and we did our nails and talked, it was really nice.

Its just that I can't stop thinking about... her...
If there is someone you love so much, that is in so much pain, its like every second you don't fight to make her feel better adds to the guilt you are carrying. I want to help more...

Så fort jag umgås med dig så snurrar tankarna runt runt...
Det är så svårt att låta bli, men samtidigt känns det mindre klokt att låta bli att låta bli...