Today is a good day

Well rested (sort of) I went to school (and arrived late). We defended our promermorias that we've worked on this last week, and it actually went really well! It is a nice group, it's been fun. Noticed I'd gotten a ticket for, aparently, parking in the wrong place. Yes!

Had a cup of tea with my friends, got the night for them organized and then off to work. And it's been calm so far, kinda cozy and without problems. And I found out I get to sleep at home, which means that I probably have the energy to work out tomorrow!

Some things didn't go my way, but its been a good day anyway :)

Out and about

Tonight was fun. After having been trapped inside with my essay in economic history Me and my friends went out. It must be something psycological, but getting dressed up and getting some make up on really is good for the mood! And listening to some upbeat music while getting ready doesn't make it worse ;)

Anyhow, after having been chilling a few hours my poor, getting-old-body told me it was time to go home. So I'm embaressed to say that I left them all to keep on enjoying themselves as I went home and finshed the night with "lonly mum's searching"", a dating show with single mothers.. .wow, I really know how to spice things up! Anyhow, this weekend there is a birthday party, and hopefully i'll be able to bring it then...

Sleep tight, everybody!!!!!

Essays and mornings

Alarm rings.
9 AM.

Knowing that you have to get up to study - the WHOLE day - might not be the best incentive to get up.


Black night

I hate feeling down. Yet, when nigt falls and sleep is far from your reach, it comes over you as a blanket too tightly woven. Leves you without air, oxygen running out, your thoughts clogging up and nothing is rational, all is feelings...
Horrible, horrible ones.

I don't want to love, or maybe I do but not now, not in this time. I don't feel like loving you, you've hurt me so bad ad you don't seem to care, you do nothing to make things right agian, and she doesn't care either. I don't want to love you, I don't want to care at all and my actions and my words follow my want. After all these years...

Different people, different wants and feelings, rational, irrational, suffocating...
I worry for you all the time, but I don't want to think about it. I don't want to think about what you are going through, night as well as day... I have a hard time sometimes; you always. And I love you much, and I want to turn thiings right, but even if i could turn back time I'm standing clueless as for what I would have done, could have done, anyone ould have done... Come back, like it used to be when we were younger, children playing and everything was good...

I miss you. You knew me, understood me... and it was easy with you...

We hurt, get hurt, and carry on.
I just want to be alone

With the lonliness comes the thoughts, and once again I find it hard to breath. But I need to be by myself.

It's ok. During the day. Theatre is my life, my energy. And that is a good thing. My life is normally this awesome part I'm playing.

Wow. If it wasn't so late, and therefore mitigating my care, it wouldn't be here.

A poem I didn't write...

But I found it in my inbox, and I liked it, and it spoke to me...

So read and anjoy. Or regret.

Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.
'Tomorrow' I say! 'I will call on Jim
Just to show that I'm thinking of him.'
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner, yet miles away,
'Here's a telegram sir,' 'Jim died today.'
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.

No bullshit

I get so tired, so bored and so freaking uninterested when people start to yab plattitudes. " I think it is imprtant to be genuine from the beginning" *Yawn* Right, cause it wold be normal to seriosly say the opposite? Or ""He/she is so deep. I can see it in his/her eyes. I can feel it" Of course you can. Cause you're psycic. Or.. wait. No, you're not. It is so easy to fool people if you want to. It is even easy to fool yoursel, almost without knowing it.

So, quit the bullshit. (I might have been watching "ensam mamma söker", and that might have provoced me just a tad.)

Anyhow, I'm spending the night with the love of my life. The first one I miss when I'm gone. My little baby, my Ceasar...
Its funny how one can feel so deep for an animal (even though he is the best cat in the whole wide world), and be so distant when it comes to people...

Top Model next, haha!

So now it's official - my career as a proffessional model has now started!

Check it out at Amazing Pearls :)

Well, honestly speaking it might have been a favour for a friend, but a girl can dream, can't she?

Anna-Maria is currently cooking dinner in my kitchen - we're having a small reunion from my drama curse. I guess I should go and help her, but just got so excited I had to share this!


Ever since i was eight or nine I think it was about then it began
I've been standing on the shoreline
Always waiting
For something lasting
Loose your hunger, you loose your way
Get confused and you fade away Who are you? Where can I find you?


All eyes turn hollow
From the work of sorrow

Standing on the paving
By the office building
They've got so much to do
Never time for you I want to, I do, but then things comes in the way, guilt, time, priorities... and fear

We are shadows* I will always see you....

*Anna Ternheim

To stand on a shorelie, feeling the cold water touch your toes. Feeling and urge to step in it, yet the fear of the water swallowing you completely, making your skin and then your muscles numb.

Ling a little bit longer in Limbo.

Don't walk away.

Come back, to stay.

I love you...

Salsa night!

Yesterday, me, my mum and my sis went out to dance salsa at Göteborgs nation. We started out with a course in columbian salsa and afterwards it was time to hit the floor... man, my feat hurt!
But it was a lot of fun, nice to do something all the three of us.
And we ran in to some old aquaintances, a friend of my parents we hadn't seen for years.

My mum and I tried to get the rust off some moves....

...which proved to be kind of hard!!

33 f-n k

... may water help
and substance too
lets not freak out
but act; just do

Pull yourself together
yes, I'm talking to you
and to myself
all of us

Lets get pulled together
before this malicious tumor brings us down so deep that rescue is beyond reach for anyone

and may the water not be salty
but healthy

I miss you so...

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